This Vulnerable Life

Life is many things: fun, surprising, unexpected, wonderful, magical and scary. One aspect of life that contributes to our fear is being vulnerable, specifically in relationships. When I say relationships I don’t just mean romantic relationships, I mean all types of relationships including but not limited to: friendships, family, co-workers, even your favorite barista at the local coffee shop. Oftentimes we put up walls because we’ve been hurt in the past and we want to protect ourselves. It’s a defense mechanism we use to protect our hearts. Being vulnerable requires us to accept ourselves fully and completely. To embrace and acknowledge our flaws and live with the good and the not so great parts of ourselves. To acknowledge that we aren’t perfect. With this acknowledgement we can accept others for their imperfect selves as well.

The reason I believe that being vulnerable is so important to a happy life is because we as humans crave and need connection. The reward of being vulnerable is pure happiness and deep connections. Isn’t that what life is all about? Connecting with others on a soul level as opposed to the superficial small talk we so often find ourselves in. I personally, love talking about passions. Others’ and my own. Finding out what makes people behave the way they do. People fascinate me. It’s this passion for others’ desire that fuels me to begin conversations like this. To talk to strangers about more than just the weather.

However, what many of you don’t know is that I was a terribly shy child. I would literally hide behind my mom when people would introduce themselves to me. I’ve had walls up since I was a little girl, and it’s taken me years of working on myself to slowly begin to break them down and accept myself so that I can make connections with others. Now, I’m not perfect, I still have to continually work on this aspect of my life. It’s one of the reasons I started this blog, one more way for me to let people into my world, breaking a wall that I’ve held up for decades. I’ve realized that if I want to make a change in the world I have to begin the conversation. If I have an idea I have to run with it. I’ve grown to be a little more confident in myself. I began to accept my flaws and imperfections. And with this acceptance I was able to open up to others and allow people into my world, regardless of how weird I think it is.

Asking ourselves to be vulnerable is great, but of course many of you are probably asking yourselves about the risks involved? Like “what if people don’t like the real me”? “What if I don’t like the real me”? All these questions are valid, and to get over the fear, it’s imperative to accept how we feel. To acknowledge that we may be scared of others’ opinions. But to be vulnerable anyway. To face our fears.  To be vulnerable in the face of our fear.

As a self-described people pleaser I know this fear all to well. It’s something I continue to struggle with. I’ve come a long way but continue to work on releasing my irrational desire to please people and live up to an unattainable, often superficial idea of what I believe others expect from me. The people who truly love you and want you in their life will be there for you when you are simply open and honest and most importantly, yourself.

Always remember that it is up to us to individually begin becoming vulnerable in all our relationships if we desire a more loving and authentic life. Life is meant to be lived authentically. To develop and harness deep connections with others. That’s what makes life so fun- learning and growing with others.

So please, my hope from today’s post is to encourage you to break down a little bit of that wall you’ve held and built a long time ago. Share a deep secret with someone you truly care about and trust. And see the magic that unfolds! If you want to continue this conversation please leave a comment below! Share with your friends and family and see if you have deeper conversations this week! I’d love to hear about any success stories being vulnerable and creating deeper connections with others, let me know in the comments below. Much love!

See you next week!

Zoya

A 20-somethibg girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.