This sensitive life: how to stop absorbing other people’s energy

Being a sensitive person is a complex mix of emotions. Usually these people are quick to pick up on other people’s energies. When highly sensitive people enter a room they can immediately feel the energy of it.

Highly sensitive people, like myself, have to work really hard to discern empathy from sympathy. Empathy occurs when you feel into other people’s emotions. Whereas, sympathy is synonymous with compassion. However, having a lot of empathy means we begin embodying other people’s feelings and what they may be going through.

The problem occurs when we take on the negative energy of others. So how can we begin to change this ingrained behavior?

1. Deal with any of your own unresolved issues.

We are all works in progress. It’s always important to focus on things that we have to work on within ourselves, instead of focusing on what other people are doing. For instance, what happens when you get into a conversation with someone who made you feel offended? What exactly have they done? They simply acted as a catalyst to awaken a sleeping giant. It could have been any other person in any other circumstance. In fact, it’s always our own unresolved issues that allow us to feel a certain way as opposed to the other person.

The solution to this is to start taking a look at these issues that surface in these situations. A lot of people live from the outside in, so other people end up becoming their problem. But when we start to live from the inside out, that is precisely when we can gain clarity. However, for many people it can be very difficult to talk about unresolved issues because they don’t want to take responsiblity.

In the end, everybody will be your problem until you start taking a look within yourself and begin to repair those unresolved issues. To heal those wounds that are making you incomplete. To start reintegrating the broken parts of yourself to become the greatest version of yourself, and share that person with the world.

2. Be yourself.

Always do you. Expressing ourselves without guilt is a skill we all need to cultivate to avoid absorbing other people’s energy. When you don’t express your feelings or opinions you begin to neglect your authenticity and stop feeling good about yourself. But once you can begin to really express yourself and remove all of the guilt, you suddenly develop a greater transparency, allowing you to become the greatest version of yourself.

Oftentimes, the reason we don’t express ourselves is because of fear. Maybe we were told that how we feel doesn’t matter, so we developed a defense mechanism of withholding our true emotions. Many of us grew up thinking that if we do something correct, or what our parents wanted for us, our parents will reward us, even if deep down it wasn’t necessarily what we truly wanted.

We all have myriad of repressed emotions. This dilemma leads to depression and anxiety. But by being able to allow ourselves to express our true selves to the world, we reduce all that anxiety and depression and make our lives that much better.

3. You can’t control others.

We literally have absolutely zero control over how other people feel about us and how they act around us. By reminding ourselves of this universal truth, we set ourselves free of the burden of carrying someone elses behavior on our shoulders. By doing so, we can avoid absorbing another’s energy. Just remember to not take things personally.

4. Let go of the need to be validated.

We don’t need external validation. All we really need is support. Oftentimes in our lives we search for external approval, which is why we begin absorbing other people’s energy. We can begin to feel frustrated when we don’t get that approval. But once we can love ourselves fully and completely, trusting our instincts, having confidence in ourselves, and validating ourselves from the inside, we no longer succumb to taking on other people’s energy.

In order to stop absorbing other people’s energy, we have to stay true to ourselves and allow our authenticity to flourish and blossom without other people’s opinions.

Sometimes, others people’s opinions matter, but at the same time, we must become aware of how we react to others’ views.

Once we begin taking action and remain focused on ourselves, even if people say hurtful things, we aren’t concerned. Why? Because we love ourselves from the inside. Loving yourself is truly an inside job. Always remember to connect with those who remind you of who you really are. These people show you aspects of yourself you may avoid, but it’s only by tackling those ugly parts of ourselves that we can grow into fully and completely accepting and loving ourselves. By doing so, we avoid harmful energy from others and can begin absorbing more positive energy.

5. Don’t pay attention to nonsense.

Every morning, we wake up and find that we only have so much energy. Throughout the day we use that energy by giving it to people and things around us, until at the end of the day when there’s almost nothing left and we feel tired and go to sleep to start all over again the next day.

It’s important to we always remember that some people fill us with energy while others drain our energy reserves. Those that drain us of energy are what I like to call “energy vampires”.

They show up in the form of colleagues, our friends or even close family. Someone who drains your energy uses your energy to survive.

One of the important things to do is to really identify whether they are permament or temporary energy suckers. Someone who is a temporary energy vampire is someone who may be going through a difficult time in their life or mourning a death in their family, so for a few months they can become energetically draining.

But a permanent energy vampire is an inherent personality trait. And that trait is extremely difficult to change. Most energy vampires don’t want to work on themselves. What you can do if you are dealing with a permanent energy vampire is to start walking away from this person, even if it is a close friend or a family member. Because what we are doing is looking out for ourselves. By allowing ourselves to be uplifted instead of drained, we can uplift all those other people around us. But if we allow other people to bring us down, then all of our other friends and family become drained from hanging out with us.

When we pay someone attention, we essentially give them energy. We must begin to change our focus in order to stop absorbing other people’s energy.

Basically, we create our own reality based on our beliefs and our feelings. We have to always remember to protect ourselves from any harmful energy, have fun and always smile.

Now I would love to hear from all of you. Can any of you relate to being a sensitive soul who easily absorbs other people’s energy? If so, please take these tips and apply them to your life and witness the miraculous changes that take place in your own life. Please share if any of these tips helped you. As always I love hearing all of your feedback and comments.



A 20-something girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.