This post-grad life: living with your parents

As many fellow millennials can agree, post-grad life is shocking to say the least. Thrown into the real world after being in the bubble of college, left to fend for yourself. At least that’s how I saw it. You see, I thought that I was independent because I lived away from home during my college years. But upon graduation, I realized that unless I had a good job (not just decent), I was going to have to live at home. There are a variety of reasons why millennials are finding themselves living at home. It’s cheaper, they are able to pay off some loans and have a full time job which allows them to save for their future. Others may like the home cooked meals that home provides. For many others it’s a cultural thing, where children (especially females) don’t move out until they are married. Clearly there are benefits to living at home, but for us millennials who are doing so, it comes with many woes. Regardless of your reasons for living at home, here are a few of the struggles of living at home that are all too common.

1. Dating is even more complicated.

So you meet a great guy/ girl, you go on a couple of dates, then it’s time to bring them back to your place to.. You know, “get to know each other better”, sort of a “Netflix and chill” situation. Back in college, even if you were living with roommates, it was simple. Bring said person back, if roommate was home, introduce them and then back to your room you go. Roommates typically understood and were at least accepting of the fact that you were about to get naked with this person. But, parents are a little (ok, a lot) more invested in your relationships. First, they typically want to know if your dating anyone. Then, it’s if he/she is a nice person. What are their career goals? They think the next person you date or even sleep with could be a potential in-law. So they want to get to know this person. Now, let’s say instead of dating you met someone on tinder (or some other social media based “hookup” service) then all you most likely want to do is “the deed.” You basically don’t care about finding out this persons goals or ambitions. Parents definitely put a dent in your mission when you attempt to bring said person home, and are met with detective mom and dad who want to sit down and get to know this person. Plus, it’s totally awkward to be getting it on while your parents are down the hall watching another episode of the good wife.

2. Throwing parties

When I was in college, my roommates and I threw huge celebratory parties. We would find any excuse to throw a party. Got an A on an exam? Congrats let’s party. Birthday? Party. Halloween? Party. Martin Luther King Jr. Day? Sure, let’s party. Buying alcohol in bulk and not caring what the apartment looked like or smelled like was a typical occurrence. But now, living at home, there is no way parents would allow their homes to be trashed. Not only that but as I’ve gotten older, my desire to blackout and become belligerent has decreased severely. I even went to a holiday happy hour and CHOSE not to drink. But even getting together with friends to celebrate the little things is harder, now we are forced to celebrate not in our homes, but out in restaurants or bars. This involves money- which some of us don’t feel like wasting on an evening of debauchery.

3. Alone time is sacred

I crave some me time. I need it to recharge myself. To be the best version of me I require a refueling. Like a battery that’s on low, after a long day I need some quiet time to myself to simply relax, unwind and recharge. And yet, parents complicate this desire. They want to hangout with you whenever they can. Personally, my mom and I both work full time jobs Monday through Friday. So our days to catch up with each other are the weekends. We are in busy mode all week that we end up running errands on Saturdays and watching football on Sunday’s (its become a tradition). This leaves me with very little time that I’m not with my mom on the weekends which is when I most want and crave my alone time. Luckily, my mom goes to bed before me so I am able to squeeze in some quiet time once she goes to bed. But I always find myself craving more.

These are just some of the struggles I’ve discovered in my own life from living with my mom after college. If you are a recent college-grad or simply a millennial whose moved back home, can you relate to these struggles? What if any other struggles have you found in your own life? Please share in the comments below. And if anyone has advice on how to cope or deal with these struggles, all the tips and suggestions are welcomed, even encouraged. I’d love to hear from all of you.

Also, I just wanted to apologize for posting so late this week. I’ve been very busy and went to a football game which took up my usual blogging time slot. Hope this week finds you well.

See you all next week!

 

Zoya

A 20-somethibg girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.