This perfectly imperfect life

How many of you have felt the pressure to be perfect? Whether it be in school, at work, or even to be the perfect parent, sibling, spouse, pet owner, friend? This pressure for perfectionism affects all of us. I have yet to meet someone who has never felt this way at some point in their life. What is important to understand is where this pressure comes from so that we can cope with these feelings in healthy ways.

Oftentimes, this pressure isn’t real, it comes from within, from that negative Nancy/Ned inside our heads. This self- inflicted torture drains our energy and puts us in a negative energy space, which doesn’t feel good. It’s imperative that we try to release ourselves from the prison we’ve created inside our minds. For our energy to stay elevated we must be loving and compassionate towards the parts of ourselves we try so hard to hide.

So here are some of the tools I use when I find myself in this negative energy state with thoughts of perfectionism:

1. Acknowledge the thought

It is important to not disregard negative emotions. That’s one of the reasons I started this blog. If you have a negative thought, it doesn’t mean your a bad person, it means there is a lesson that the universe wants you to learn. Only by acknowledging these negative thoughts will you be able to see what types of situations affect you and only by acknowledging them can you move forward. You see, if you don’t know hate, how can you know love? If you do not feel sadness, how do you know what happiness feels like? It’s the dichotomy of feelings that allow us as human beings to experience life in all its magnificent forms.

2. Journal

Journaling is one of my favorite ways to cope with my emotions. As a very emotional person, I tend to transfer other people’s energy very easily. It can affect me negatively. Just the other day I had a really stressful and long day at work, I came home and just cried because I had allowed my boss’ stress and energy to affect me. So I turned to my journal and just wrote what I was feeling and all my thoughts. Seeing my thoughts on the page made it clear, I had transferred the hurried energy of  my boss after spending all day with him onto myself. I took his emotions as my own. This is definitely something I plan to write more about because it’s something I continue to struggle with. But the process of journaling calmed my hurried mind and elevated my energy level instantly.

3. Call a friend

I think talking is the one of the best solutions to figuring out emotions. I have a special confidante whom I can talk to at any time of day- my mom. She doesn’t judge, she just listens. Yes sometimes our communication isn’t great (again, a post coming soon), but allowing yourself to vent your frustrations, to share your feelings, having your feelings validated does wonders to your energy. It instantly raises your energy.

4. Meditate

Sometimes the best thing we can do for our energy is to sit still. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and just focus on our breathing. It’s as simple as that. You don’t need a meditation pillow or mat, no incense needs to be burned. There is no wrong way to meditate. It’s simply the act of getting still, you’ll be surprised at how helpful this tool is. Just getting quiet allows your mind to relax. I know you might be thinking, “but my mind is constantly thinking about something”, and my answer is to be persistent. When you notice your mind wandering about as your trying to meditate simply focus all your attention on your breath. Listen to a guided meditation that will focus your mind on specific things. Or simply repeat a mantra that resonates with you. Meditation is called a practice because it takes repetition to see results.

I hope that when you find yourself stuck in negative thoughts of perfectionism you can pull out some of these tools, and elevate your energy and grow! In the comments below, please let me know if you’ve used any of these tools. Please let us all know of other tools you use when you find yourself in the trap of perfectionism. Let’s continue this conversation in the comments below, what kind of perfectionism do you find yourself stressing about? And please, if you know of anyone that could benefit from these tools please share this with them.

See you next week!




A 20-somethibg girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.