This over-analyzed life

I must confess, I’m an over-analyzer and an over-thinker. Unfortunately, these traits result in stress and anxiety. It happens in all aspects of my life- work, family, dating, friends. But today I want to focus on over-analyzing in regards to dating.

Today, millenials are finding themselves in a dating world that is different than what they grew up watching on tv or in movies. We rely on texting and social media when it comes to dating. As an over-thinker I find myself wondering crazy thoughts like “why didn’t he text me back?”, “why did he text me back so soon, there’s obviously something wrong with him.” We tend to drive ourselves crazy waiting for the next text sitting on anxiety all while missing the moment. Instead of living our lives in the moment we focus on how we are perceived on social media. “Did I use a flattering filter?”- are some of the thoughts we might think.

So, if you, like me, desire to relieve yourself from the stress and anxiety that over- analyzing brings then here are some of my suggestions to stop from over-analyzing:

1. Distract yourself.

Work is a great distraction for me. I simply dive deep into what I’m working on and walk around my office allowing my mind to focus solely on the task at hand. Other distractions that work for me are reading, watching tv, hanging out with friends, and of course cuddling on the couch with my dog. Doggie love is the cure-all for everything!!

2. Go on a date with YOURSELF.

When we find ourselves over-analyzing and feeling anxious in relationships it’s most often because we are searching for happiness in outside sources- in dating we are looking to the other person to makes us happy. But the truth is no outside things can make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. So remind yourself that life was great way before you met this other person. This other person cannot make you happy or sad. Only you can choose to be happy with yourself and your life. By doing things that you love with yourself you reinforce self- love which is essential in any romantic relationship. Healthy relationships require two people who are self- confident in themselves with great self-love, coming together in mutual love. Not seeking love from the other for happiness.

I hope this all makes sense to you all. This is totally a topic I continue to struggle with. I hope you take these suggestions into your own life. If you have any other suggestions when it comes to anxiety and dating and over-thinking please share in the comments below. If you know of anyone who could benefit from these suggestions please share this with them. Let’s continue this conversation in the comments below!


A 20-somethibg girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.