This new life

You guys, 2016 is here! And with the new year comes New Years resolutions. Many people make them to then get bummed out when they can’t keep them. However, I’d like to propose a new tradition. Let’s ditch the resolution and instead adopt the concept of taking chances, taking risks. Doing that thing we keep putting off. Instead of saying “I want to fall in love” let’s sign up for online dating and actually go on a date. Instead of resolving to eat better, start cooking healthier now. Taking action steps is the only way we can actually better ourselves. My challenge for myself and for all of you who choose to join me, is to constantly be challenging ourselves. Doing what scares us because it scares us. Here are some things I’ve already done and plan to do to challenge myself this year, and continue to challenge myself every year to come.

1. Changing my hair

You see, I have a slight attachment to my hair being exactly the way it is. I’ve changed it up in the past and now have found myself in a hair rut of sorts. So what did I do? I went to the salon and changed up the color AND cut. Was I nervous? Hell yeah! But I did it anyway. And honestly, it was the best decision I made. I feel great. I’m still getting used to it all, but now I’m looking forward to when I can go back to the salon and try something else. Go lighter? Go shorter? Whatever I feel like trying I can without any attachment to my appearance staying static or the same.

2. Actually use all the recipes I’ve collected

I have always loved food. Cooking and baking as a kid, helping my grandma in the kitchen was what I loved to do. As I got older I learned how to make homemade treats and meals healthier and still tasty. Then college happened, a terrible relationship with food developed and cooking and baking became somewhat of a fear of mine. To try new recipes began to scare me. So for the past few months in my attempt to challenge myself I have collected myriad of recipes to try. But unfortunately, my fear mind took over and I really haven’t practiced testing out all the fun recipes. So this past weekend, with the new year here, I decided I have to challenge myself so I can be the best version of myself. And I did. I found a recipe stored on my phone and made it! It came out great and I’m glad I was able to overcome the fear I had. Now I plan on continuing this challenge. To make most,if not all of the recipes I have stored and actually use all the cookbooks that so many of my loved ones have gifted me with. To go back and find that joy I once had for cooking and baking and experimenting in the kitchen.

3. Be the first to text

Confession time: I hate being the first one to start a text convo. It makes me feel desperate. Don’t ask me why, after much inner work, I’ve found that it stems from my belief that I do not want to appear desperate or lonely. I now realize how bananas that sounds. Which is exactly why I was able to challenge myself and wish someone a happy new year who I haven’t spoken to in a few months and invited another friend to meet up for coffee. Both of these seemingly easy tasks, were for me challenges. And I loved doing it. It felt freeing, in a way I wasn’t expecting. Like I’m okay. And the universe totally has my back.

4. Go on that date!

Ok, another confession: I avoid dating. Do I have a tinder account? Yes. I even have a jdate account (dating site for Jews). Even after seeing messages from guys who seem to like my profile, I avoid getting into the online dating world. Maybe it’s the negative perception I still have associated with online dating even though I know of so many couples who have the best marriages and relationships from online dating. I know the stigma is gone, which leads me to the real reason I avoid it: fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of being perceived negatively by a stranger. Yes, again, I see how silly these thoughts are. They are my silly ego mind playing tricks on me. So even though I haven’t yet, I will get more serious about online dating and plan on actually going on more dates this year, even if it’s to find friendship. Without opening myself up to opportunities, I stay stuck. And being stuck is no fun, life is meant to be lived fully. And by going all dates, I open myself to various opportunities I can’t even picture.

Basically, I want to encourage all of you to challenge yourselves. The reality is, you can’t live in fear, it’s no fun. By challenging your fear based beliefs you open yourself up to opportunities beyond your wildest dreams. So please, share in the comments below what fear based thoughts you plan on challenging this year and beyond? And if you’ve already challenged some thoughts please share how you did so and how it felt after challenging yourself?

Please leave feedback in the comments below, I love hearing from all of you!

Happy New Years everyone! Go out there and challenge yourself! Miracles await!

Zoya

A 20-somethibg girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.

4 Comments

  1. Every week I learn things about you and every week I see your growth. I am so proud of you and your accomplishments….. You are the best friend and daughter that I could have asked for. Love you very much!!!!!!

  2. Zoechka!
    There are not enough words to describe how much I enjoy reading your blog!
    I wish you only succes in everything you will chose to do!!!
    Love you always

    • Thank you so very much! I am so glad this blog is resonating with you and that you enjoy reading it every week. I love any feedback but positive feedback always makes me feel good. Thank you for your support and wonderful wishes. I love you too always