Society seems to embrace extroversion more so than the traits that we, introverts, exhibit. I assume it’s because we are quiet and tend to shut up shop when other people are being friendly and trying to interact- even if our version of friendly is not wrong, just different. This leads to many assumptions that introverts have to deal with.
1. People think we are rude.
Just because I am a good listener and happen to sometimes not respond to you is not indicative of the fact that we’re not processing. It’s society’s expectation that you should always respond. We won’t interrupt, and isn’t that social etiquette? But small talk is cheap- and I stand by that statement! Our furrowed brows mean we’re absorbing your words, not that we are in any way frustrated.
2. We’re always asked if we’re depressed.
Introverts love being alone. There are a lot of times we feel overwhelmed and we need some alone time to “reset” ourselves. Our reservation and lack of social contact stems from a divide of which we are always conscious- that we are painfully aware of talking about nothing, especially if we don’t have much in common. This self-awareness shouldn’t be looked down at, especially since it results in having true friends, and not multiple casual acquaintances that sap you of your energy.
3. We feel inadequate.
Sometimes, in a group of people talking, we, the introverts, stay quiet, listening, and wondering why we have nothing to add to the conversation. We oftentimes feel a bit lonely and wonder why that’s so, but we aren’t inadequate. We’re fine just the way we are. This sense of inadequacy is in our heads. Let’s not play mind games with ourselves. We are, in fact, great lovers and fantastic friends. Just because we can’t seem to find solace in the fact that we need alone time to achieve some semblance of calm doesn’t mean we are weird- or lacking. No way. Finding comfort is far better than faking your way to pleasing people you hardly know.
4. People think we are flakey.
One day we feel like hanging out with a lot of people- this occurs quite seldomly, and other (most) times, we feel like staying home. Going outside to meet friends seems like a monstrous task. We text- because calling makes us nervous- and even that is a laborious task. But we’re NOT flakey. It’s not that we don’t like you- we need time to compose ourselves, and that means staying in.
5. People assume we are no fun.
We are totally fun- once you really get to know us. We’re intelligent, we are truly interested in what you have to say (when we find common ground), and we will totally surprise you with how much you can depend on use for some entertainment. Trivia? Hell yes, we’re awesome at it. Staying home doesn’t mean we’re hiding under the covers, you know. Hosting a dinner party? We’re great at that, too. Dancing? Yeah, some of us are great dancers. Find us when we’re recharged for social life- we will gladly bring the party to you.
6. Crowds cause anxiety.
Solitude is sweet, sweet freedom for us introverts. The sense of peacefulness it brings is the complete opposite of crowds. Crowds make most of us nervous. It makes us weary and it is very draining- physically and mentally: our energy comes from being alone, and that is just who we are. And really, there’s something to be said for having one-on-one interactions. It’s definitely more in depth, it’s personal, and avoiding crowds sometimes ensures that you’ll make a connection rather than leaving that up to chance.
As a self- described introvert, I have learned how to handle various situations that causes me stress and anxiety. It’s not always easy. Some days are better than others. But I love being an introvert. It’s who I am and I wear that proudly.
Now, I’d love to hear from you. Are you an introvert who finds that people assume things about you that are straight up false? Please share in the comments below. As always, I love hearing all your comments and feedback!!
Thank you for coming back week after week!