This friendship life: how deep friendships lead to deep romantic relationships

Friends are beneficial to our life in myriad of ways. They make us happier, they are there to pick us up after a heartbreak and celebrate all our successes with us.

After years of considering myself a bad friend, I have realized that deep, meaningful friendships are vital for all of us in order to have deep, meaningful romantic relationships.

In order to for us to have any deep or meaningful connections with others, we first have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. To be authentic and comfortable with all the aspects of ourselves, which includes the good, the bad and the ugly.

Our friends are our first venture into practicing being vulnerable. If we can allow ourselves to ugly cry in front of our bestie, then maybe, just maybe we can get the courage to ugly cry in front of our significant other.

Not only do friends provide us the comfortable surroundings to be vulnerable, they also serve a very important role in allowing us to have trust with others. Trust is a very important aspect of romantic life. We have to allow ourselves to trust the person we are with romantically. Our friends give us the opportunity to work on our level of trust with others. Trust is precious. Even though it’s hard to trust people, especially these days, you can always count on your friends to be the most trustworthy people. You can tell them anything without the risk of being judged. You can share all your deepest fears and desires, knowing they are always there to listen. To encourage. To be there with a shoulder to cry on, some ice cream and sweatpants, after a devastating heartbreak.

Our friends teach us the valuable lesson of apologizing. I have been guilty of being a sh***y friend in the past, as a result, I have suffered losing some people who were considered close friends. But my ride or die girls, forgave me, even when I couldn’t forgive myself. When it comes to romantic relationships, we all need to be able to get humble and apologize whenever we do something to hurt anothers’ feelings. Romantic relationships will inevitably involve some sort of arguing. Whether it’s about where to go to dinner or whose going to clean up the dishes. Friendship teaches us to be attentive to others with our words and deeds. It important to remember that you have to accept your own mistakes, no matter how difficult it is. You will have to apologize when you are wrong if you want to have any sort of relationship in your life.

Lastly, our friends teach us how to be grateful. A real friend will do a lot for you. And there will be plenty of instances for you to thank this person for their generosity. Most of us, myself included, learn and truly understand the value of friendship when we lose it. Please, be grateful for having real friends and appreciate every single minute spent together. Everyone knows how great and important it is to feel you are wholly noticed and appreciated for just being yourself. That’s true love. And all these values and feelings translate to a healthy romantic relationship.

As a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic I do believe it is possible to marry your best friend, so you may very well have all these experiences with your significant other. However, it’s important to remember where you first experienced all these feelings. Your lasting friendships have and will continue to provide you with ample opportunities to betr yourself and allow you to grow into the best version of yourself. Thereby allowing yourself to show up in a relationship as a complete person, seeking another complete person to share in mutual love with.

Now, please, I love hearing from all of you. What life lessons have you learned from your friends? Please share in the comments below, let’s continue the conversation. As always, any feedback and comments are welcomed.


A 20-something girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.