This ever-changing life: you are allowed to change your mind

If there is anything I am certain about, it is that I change my mind constantly. Or at least I think so… (See what I did there)? I’m a horrible judge of what I want and as a result, I’m terrified of any sort of commitment.

When I was a kid I thought I wanted to be an actress. When I was in college, I changed my major multiple times. I went in undecided (clearly). Then I thought I wanted to be a dietician, then when I realized how uninterested I was in science, I became a political science major, leading me to decide to go to law school. When I realized I couldn’t keep my grades up because of my disinterest I thought about a number of other career paths. There was a brief thought about becoming a personal trainer, then maybe a social worker, life coach, health coach, chef, until I finally landed on writer. That’s where I am right now. And for a while, until just recently actually I had been trying to “figure it out”. Thinking that there is some end point that will allow me to just make a decision. Something that will allow the decision to be easy. What I’ve found though is that there is no end point. There is no magical day where I wake up and just “know” what I’m meant to do. It’s a journey. I’m allowed to learn new things and experience life by exploring different career opportunities.  Whatever I enjoy doing, that’s what I will continue to pursue. I share this story with all of you to explain how you don’t have to have everything figured out. Ever!

Even though at 26, I know I haven’t “lived” that doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced a variety of things.  My unique life experiences brought me to this exact point. My life experiences shape my decision making. Therefore, if it wasn’t for all that I’ve gone through in my career I wouldn’t have started this blog, sharing with all of you, my dear readers every week.

Not only can we change our minds in our careers, but even what we want out of life can change. Like whether or not we want a family. I always wanted kids, still do. But the number of kids changes. Being an only child I used to crave a big family. The more kids the better. But now, I think even just one would be a blessing.

Just like almost every girl, I dreamed of a lavish wedding. The feeling of being a princess for a day. Then I thought a small intimate wedding is more my style. And now, every day seems to be different.

Having the privilege of traveling to NYC at least once a year growing up, I always thought a big city like NYC is where I belong. When I didn’t end up going to college in NYC, I started to change what I wanted. I began appreciating the suburbs. When I have kids, I don’t know where I will want to live. I still crave a city life, but I don’t just want to live in any city. When I was in law school I decided to live in the heart of the city, it was a very small city (like literally 4 blocks). And I hated it. It was no NYC. The following year I moved away from the city and into an apartment in the suburbs and LOVED it. I loved coming back to my apartment everyday. I slept so much better. I was closer to school. My neighbors were awesome, and there was a better fitness center and pool! I realized I don’t have to be so stuck in my ways.

You know what else can change? Activities you participate in. As a youngster I figure skated. Shopping has always been a vice for me (Still is). But the biggest difference I’ve noticed with myself is that I used to hate anything related to trivia. We had the game trivial pursuit when I was a kid, and whenever my family and I attempted to play it, I broke down hysterically crying because I felt like I knew nothing. I hated jeopardy. My mom would always watch it and know a lot of the answers. I knew nothing. Now, on the other hand, I have to remind my mom to watch jeopardy because I’m completely into it. I surprise myself daily with all the knowledge I’ve gathered throughout the years. It’s almost as if playing jeopardy I re-affirm what this post is about- that it is okay to change your mind. By allowing myself to change my mind I am constantly in a student mentality. And that student mentality is great for absorbing information!

My desire for all of you is to be easy and kind with yourself. When you find yourself faced with a circumstance or situation where what you thought you wanted changes, allow it. Allow yourself to make decisions based on how you feel in the moment, not what you think you are supposed to do because that’s what you’ve always thought you wanted. Life is meant to be lived fully. With that being said, desires are allowed to change. And there is absolutely no reason for anyone to feel bad about that.

I have been so fortunate to have supporting and encouraging parents. With all my changing desires they always supported me. Whether it was driving me to skating practice, driving me to photo shoots and auditions, paying for college and law school and all the prep courses, and just being helpful financially is something I am extremely grateful for. I know not everyone is as fortunate as me. My encouragement to those of you who may have experienced negative people when you express a change in your desire, Is to do what you want anyone. Please do not  allow others to dim your light. If there is something you want to do, please, find a way to do it. It will bring such happiness to your life.

New experiences come and go, some of which may alter your trajectory. Maybe it’s something someone says that changes how you view the world and what you want to do. Or you’ll just be lying in bed one day, reflecting on something completely unrelated, then it hits you. You don’t have to stay on one ship forever, you are allowed to hop on deck to someone else’s.

As long as you stick to your values, you’re doing just fine. Who knows? Maybe I’ll change my mind on this again, but this is where I stand now.

Now,  I would love to hear from all of you. Have any of you experienced a change in something you thought you wanted? If so, please share what you thought you wanted and the new desire. Also, please share how you handled that change in desire, or how others may have reacted to this change. Whether they were supportive or not. And if not, how you managed to persevere. If you like this post please like it on Facebook, and if you haven’t already, subscribe for free to get notifications staring to your inbox. If you know anyone who could benefit from this post please feel free to share it with them. I love hearing all your comments and feedback. Let’s continue this discussion in the comments below.

Have a great week everyone!

 

Zoya

A 20-somethibg girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.