This dating life: how you may be unintentionally scaring guys away

Ever find yourself dating a guy when all of a sudden he just disappears completely, leaving you wondering what the hell went wrong?

Well, turns out, it might have everything to do with you. Guys are pretty simple. That being said, they are scardy cats. So we have to tread the dating waters with caution. From texting too much to not having other interests, there are a few things you could be unintentionally doing that are scaring away some good guys.

1. You don’t see your friends.

Guys like girls who have a social life. Having friends indicates to a guy that you have other people in your life who love spending time with you. That is all alluring to a potential partner. It also shows him that friends are important to you and that a guy isn’t going to be the center of your universe. So he then has to put in more effort to get to spend time with you. It also gives you so much more to talk about when you do actually spend time together. When girls ditch their friends to spend all their time with their guy, it can be a total turnoff and the guy will run away real quick.

2. Being irrationally jealous.

A good rule of thumb is to not get jealous unless he gives you a reason to be jealous. Otherwise, being jealous, for no reason shows your deep insecurities. Guys love confident girls. These girls are usually secure in themselves, being comfortable in your own skin is key in having a real relationship.

3. Texting too much.

Guys and girls text differently. We can text our girlfriends about something that happened at work. Guys on the other hand, don’t want to hear a story via text. They prefer to use texts for logistical purposes only. Like where and when he is picking you up. When the dinner reservation is. So just remember to keep texts short, fun and flirty and avoid sending too many.

4. Not having any hobbies or interests.

Guys love a girl whose passionate and interesting. In order to have anything interesting to say we have to go out and do stuff. It may be tempting to spend all our time with a new guy but it’s important to keep doing all the things we love because it makes us much more interesting and alluring. Not only does it make us an enticing person to be with, but it also makes us happier because ywe’ll feel like our lives are much more well-rounded.

5. Talking badly about other women.

This is another way we can show our deep insecurities. If you’re bringing down something about other girls, it can give men the impression that you’re a difficult person to deal with and don’t have confidence with yourself. While it is fine to have opinions, let’s stop criticizing other girls. Remember feminism? Let’s embrace our inner Spice Girl, spreading girl power and get the guy instead of being bitchy and scaring away a potential good guy.

6. Pushing for commitment early on.

It’s great to always know where a potential relationship is going. Guys will quickly feel pressure to commit if you probe them too often and too early on. So when is the right time to have ‘the talk’? Well, to be honest, there is no “right” time, it should just happen naturally. If he likes you, he will bring up the conversation and commit. And don’t forget that you always have to option of walking away if it’s not going where you’d like it to go.

7. Oversharing.

Part of building a connection is being able to trust your significant other with the more private things about yourself. Although very important, let’s avoid getting too deep too soon. A healthy relationship typically starts off fun and light. Souls shouldn’t really be bared until at least you’ve slept together. And that should happen naturally. If it becomes too intense too quickly, it’s likely to end just as fast.

I have been guilty of committing all these mistakes at one time or another. It’s caused many guys to run for the hills, real quick. But clearly, I’ve learned from my dating blunders. So heed my advice if you don’t want to scare away that cute guy you met on the subway.

Now. I’d love to hear from all of you. Have you ever scared a potential romantic relationship away by doing one of the above? If so, please share your stories in the comments below. As always, I love hearing your feedback and comments.

Have a great week!


A 20-something girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.