This dating life: How opening your heart is the key to finding “the one”

Being single in your late 20’s seems to still be something that is frowned upon. No matter how much feminist progress we’ve made as a society, there continues to be pressure for the single twentysomething to get her shit together and find someone to have a relationship with. And as much as almost every happily single girl will tell you, we do eventually want to find someone who makes us leave singlehood and join all those happy couples who share annoying pictures of themselves on social media, proclaiming their love for each other. Although we may get annoyed when our feeds are blowing up with engagements and baby announcements, we secretly want to be that annoying couple.

The only way to ever find our special person that makes us ditch our hot mess lives and move towards coupledom is to open our hearts. By doing so, we can open ourselves to the opportunity for love. So here are a few tips to begin opening your heart so you can eventually post some annoying couple photos on Facebook.

1. Determine what your ideal relationship looks like.

We all have an image or feeling in our minds that depicts our ideal relationship. It’s important to not just think about what your ideal man looks like, you have to think about all aspects of a real relationship. From how it makes you feel to the values that you both must share. We all want to meet our soulmate.

The key to creating a soulmate type relationship is to focus on what your ideal life looks and feels like to you. Ask yourself what you see yourself doing? Where are you living? These answers will allow you to truly understand your relationship needs and allow your soulmate to simply fall into your life.

2. Accept your past relationships.

All of us have a past when it comes to relationships. We’ve all been cheated on, been the cheater, or just settled for someone we weren’t that into. Drop all the baggage. By letting go of all the resentment and past hurt you allow your heart to be capable of welcoming love in. The best way to know if you have forgiven any past lovers is when you no longer feel any negative thoughts about them.

3. Be vulnerable.

It has been said all the time, vulnerability truly is the magic pill that will allow you to let love in. Although your heart may have been broken it’s essential for your future love life to be willing to put yourself out there over and over again. That’s really the only way you’ll be able to find true love.

4. Assess your behavior in previous relationships. 

Every single relationship teaches us lessons. By taking the time to see how we may have played a role in the ending of our previous relationships, we can make behavioral changes that allow us to be better in our next relationship. By becoming clear on how we may have contributed to our previous relationships demise, we can course correct our actions in our next relationship. However, this is not the time to simply beat yourself up over what a terrible partner you were. It’s simply time to take stock of your previous actions and acknowledge how you may have played a part in ending a previous relationship. This exercise is meant to make you feel empowered about future relationships not defeated.

5. Get clear on what you want in a partner.

Be definitive and get clear about what you desire in a potential partner. Try your best to be as realistic as possible. Determine what your needs are rather than your wants. By asking what values your partner must share with you, you become clear on what your ideal relationship looks like. This makes it easier to weed out potential partners when dating. If they don’t meet any of your non-negotiables, then you know not to waste your time with them. By knowing what you want in a partner, you never have to settle for mediocre ever again.

6. Go have fun.

A critical step in finding love is to go out there and socialize. Create a life that you love with a community of people that support you. By doing so, you establish self-confidence and there is absolutely nothing more attractive than someone who is in love with their life. Be confident in where you are going in life.

Now, I’d love to hear from all of you. Have you ever opened your heart to find the love of your life just fall into your lap? Please share any comments and feedback below. As always I love hearing from all of you!



A 20-something girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.