Dating can be seen as an adventure. And adventures can be fun…or they can be disastrous.
I would think we would all want dating to be a fun, enjoyable experience. There seem to be a few myths that I’ve uncovered in my personal dating experience that I’d like to share with you today. Below are just a few of the myths that I’ve discovered through my dating experiences.
1. You’ll know at first sight.
So my parents got engaged after a week of meeting each other, ending with divorce. Sometimes we can be quick to judge; we will make our minds up about someone before we properly get to know them.
We are all gugly of this; we do it all the time. In dating, this sets us up for disaster. Being quick to judge ensures that no one will ever measure up. Remember that it takes time to get to know someone, so let that happen. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the experience before you decide how you feel (something I continue to struggle with). You might be surprised at what you find.
2. You won’t know at first sight.
I know this myth contradicts the first; that’s because keeping an open mind is important, but it’s also very, very important to listen to your hunches.
Intuition is a beautiful tool we can try and use more often. Our intuition can gives us information that our rational minds may not understand. This means you may find yourself on a date with someone who you didn’t think was your type, but you find yourself very attracted to him or her. Listen to that. Similarly, you may be on a date with someone who you thought you’d be attracted to, but you are just not feeling it. Listen to that.
3. You have to get all dolled up and look your best on dates.
When you are dating and getting to know one another, it’s a vulnerable experience for many of us. We are putting ourselves out there, trying to make an impression, hoping to be liked. All of your quirks and fears come to the surface, which is painful at times, but also helps you get to know yourself better.
For instance, just the other day I went on a coffee date with a guy I’ve been talking to. It wasn’t completely planned. I had been running errands prior to meeting him and was not wearing any makeup. I’ve written about my experience with gaining more confidence by ditching the daily makeup routine here. And in truth, I was nervous, but we have face timed multiple times while I’m in sweats and no makeup. And to be honest, I felt great that I was able to feel comfortable without makeup and be with someone who I like. I didn’t get a feeling that he even noticed that I wasn’t wearing makeup. That’s the thing, guys really don’t care what you are wearing or not wearing. Dating is still really about getting to know one another.
So lose the idea that you have to look perfect for dates. The reality is, there is no perfection you need to strive to reach. Just be your awesome, beautiful, unique self and you will attract beautiful souls.
4. Dating is a numbers game.
No. Quality definitely trumps quantity. If you are filling up your schedule with dates, it scatters your energy and doesn’t feel good to the people you are sharing all your time with. This mentality does not help you develop and cultivate genuine connections. Because of this, make every person you choose to go out with important. This will increase your likelihood of being present on a date, and give you the opportunity to make a lasting connection.
The right person will complete you.
No. When you seek happiness from another person you end up in a co-dependent relationship. I had that experience. And when we eventually broke up, I was found devastated.
A healthy relationship involves two complete souls sharing in mutual love. When you are fulfilled in your own life, a fantastic relationship is just an incredible bonus. This is the secret to being fulfilled by love.
Bottom line: have a good time, stay open, be you, and believe that your match is looking for you, too. Doing so will ensure a fun, successful, exciting dating adventure for you.
Now, I’d love to hear from you. What kinds of dating experiences have you gone through, good and bad? Please share in the comments below. I love hearing all of your comments and feedback.
Have a great week!