This adult life: faking adulting

Look. There is no one single, significant event that has to be accomplished by 25, and no universal sign that you are a Certified Official Grown-Up Adult. We all grow in different times and in different ways. After an in-depth conversation this past week about how I personally am faking my way through adulthood, I decided to share a few ways that faking adulthood can manifest itself.

1. You buy your parents crazy expensive presents when they are still paying your car insurance. And, your rent. And, your gym membership. 

That number-one culprit in fake-adulthood is the big spender who still counts on their parents to foot the bill for life necessities (and amenities). We all enjoy a splurge every now and then, but I think Mom and Dad would be more pleased to see us become more financially independent than with the Vitamix you bought “them.” Personally, I am definitely still working on this.

2. You keep renewing your Cosmo subscription despite the ominous stack of issues piling up.

Somehow, I randomly subscribed to Cosmopolitan, InStyle, Vogue, maybe even Teen Vogue. It seemed like a great idea at the time, until life happened (my job). So now it seems as though I have no time to read all the magazines that continue to come in the mail. At the same time, I feel guilty throwing them all away. So I watch them piling up in a storage bin (I’ve graduated from a magazine rack to a legit bin).

3. You come home late from work and complain to your parents that your boss made you stay later. They are not impressed. Welcome to work.

Ok, this is one I find irritating still (a sign I am still faking adulthood). Often I find myself complaining about work to my mom. And most of the time she will agree that the situation I encountered was frustrating, but always makes sure to remind me that she deals with the same thing at her job. The phrase that often comes out of her mouth is “work is work.” And I still struggle to fully grasp that concept.

4. You pay for premium cable but still haven’t signed up for your company’s benefits package.

I don’t technically qualify for a 401(k) quite yet at my current job. However, getting medicial insurance through my job is an option for me. I opted out because I didn’t want my paycheck to decrease. And yet, I have a Netflix and Hulu account.

Occassionaly, I go through bursts of being the responsible adult I dream to be. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that this period in our lives (the confusing 20’s) is meant to be the time for us to fake through adulthood until we slowly and gradually become those Certified Adults. In my opinion getting married, having kids, even buying a house (solely with your money) are various stages that allow us to get closer and closer to adulthood. And farther away from faking it. In the end though, it’s totally okay to feel like you’ve been faking adulting. Because as it turns out, by faking it, I’ve learned a lot. I learned how important a savings account is, I’ve learned about budgeting (not that I actually follow a budget yet), and I’ve learned about real relationships. The bottom line is, most parents want to help their children become Certified Adults. But we, as children, sometimes rely on their generosity as a default. Instead, I propose trying to find various ways to release our desire to rely on our parents so much. And let’s all acknowledge the moments when we continue to fake adulthood and not be ashamed of it.

Now I’d love to hear from all of you. Do you find yourself feeling like you are faking adulthood? What are some of the ways you find yourself faking adulting? Please share in the comments below. Let me know what you think about this type of post. I love all your feedback. If you like this post please share it with your friends. Also, if you haven’t already, subscribe to the blog and get emails straight to your inbox.

Thank you all for reading and see you all next week!

 

Zoya

A 20-something girl on a journey to find herself with hopes of helping others feel their feelings.